A Counselor Advised Me To Redecorate My Room

Once upon a time, my new boyfriend Jesse moved in with me. He told me that it was the most practical decision because it would allow us to be with each other as much as possible and save on rent. I had never lived his any of my boyfriends in the past, so I was hesitant at first to agree with him. However, he eventually got me with his sweet gestures and promises of forever. Mind you, we were only dating for a month at the time.

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Since the relationship was still new, everything felt hot and exciting whenever I did it with Jess. We practically acted like newlyweds for a few months (without the legal papers and all that jazz, of course). We cooked and cleaned together all the time and made love in every part of the house. We could not be more in love than ever.

When the honeymoon phase died down, that was when I saw another side of Jesse.

Trouble In Paradise

I realized after a few months of living with Jesse that he loved his alcohol. He always suggested popping a bottle of wine after dinner all the time, and I would indulge him sometimes. I thought that sharing wine with your partner was romantic, and I was all for romance.

However, when the pandemic came and Jesse lost his job when his company filed for bankruptcy, he began drinking more. One glass turned to three; a quarter of a bottle a day soon turned to a full one. Worse, he hid his new drinking habits from me for a while.

I guess it was not too challenging to do, considering I passed out in bed at precisely 9:00 PM on weekdays. Jesse would go to bed with me, but I would not know if he slept or not. I was used to him getting up only after I had already gone to work, so I suspected nothing.

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However, the truth got revealed when my bladder woke me up in the middle of the night one time. I looked to my right and found Jesse’s side of the bed empty. The bathroom was unoccupied, so I went out to search for him. I saw him in the living room, hugging an empty bottle of whiskey, clearly drunk.

I felt shaken by this revelation, to be honest. Jesse knew that I did not want to date someone who loved downing a bottle of Jack Daniel’s in one sitting. My dad did that, and the alcohol messed him up so badly that he turned out violent in the end. Still, since I did not see signs of that in Jesse yet, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and a chance to come clean with me.

Unfortunately, Jesse continued to pretend that he was sober for weeks, even when I finally found his stash of empty whiskey bottles, and the couch started to reek of alcohol. I decided to confront him once and for all when I woke up one morning and saw that he could not even bother to hide the evidence in the living room anymore.

Jesse was apologetic when I talked to him that day, but then I was surprised when he started blaming me for it. He said things like, “You always go to bed early” and “You don’t know my hardships because you got to keep your job.” I would not have any of that because I had been covering Jesse’s part of the rent ever since he lost his job. It was not my fault either that I got to keep mine, and he didn’t.

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I lost my respect for Jesse that day and packed his bags, and made him leave. He refused to do so initially, but I technically owned the lease to that apartment, so he had no claims over it.

Getting A Unique Advice From A Counselor

When Jesse was finally gone in my life, I assumed that I would regain my peace of mind. However, a month already passed, and I still felt troubled, so I contacted a counselor for some assistance.

The counselor listened to me patiently for two whole hours. When I asked her what I could do to hopefully give myself some relief while counseling, she suggested redecorating my room.

“Why my room only?” I asked.

“Well, that’s where you shared a lot of intimate memories with your ex-boyfriend. Since he technically did not do you harm, you might still remember and miss him subconsciously whenever you’re in the bedroom.”

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This suggestion made a lot of sense, so I hired an interior decorator to help me out. I did not have much preference on how my room should look like, but I wanted the bed frame, the paint on the walls, and even the floors changed. After a couple of weeks, I entered my newly dolled-up bedroom.

I did not know how it worked but seeing that my entirely different room gave me a sense of tranquility. I did not see anything that would remind me of my failed relationship, which made me happy.

With my new bedroom and the counseling treatment that I continued to receive, I regained myself.

Frequently Asked Questions About Validating And Fixing Teenage Depression

As a sheltered (read: homeschooled) kid most of my life, I did not deal with teenage drama at all. My best friend was my mother; my favorite thing to do as a teen was painting. Even in college, I preferred to take most of my classes online to finish everything earlier than the others and graduate quickly. Although I would have loved to spend all my life at home, I knew that I already “overstayed” at 21 years old, so I moved out and got a job in another city as a junior advertising executive.

A few months later, Mom called me, crying. I thought something terrible happened to them, but I eventually learned that she was shedding tears of joy.

“Honey, I’m pregnant. You’re about to have a baby sister,” she informed me.

I was so shocked that I could not speak immediately. Mom was already 42 years old. Sure, she was youthful-looking, but she was still too old to be expecting again. When I told her about what I thought, she laughed and told me it was a miracle. Despite my initial reaction, I was happy to know that they would have another person to look after.

Six months later, Camilla was born. She was the cutest baby I had ever seen. That’s saying something, considering I had always thought that I held that crown for a long time, but I willingly gave it up to my sister as soon as I saw her smile. I tried to go home as much as I could to help Mom out and watch Camilla grow up.

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Different Kid, Different Education System

Since Camilla was technically a miracle baby, my parents were overly protective of her. They planned to set up a playground in the backyard so that Camilla would not think of asking to go to the park and play with the other kids. They also wanted to homeschool her, considering I turned out to be a decent adult despite my lack of social exposure.

The unforeseen flaw in my parents’ plan was that they allowed Camilla to watch nursery rhymes with real kids playing or singing in parks or nursery schools in the background. As soon as Camilla could talk, therefore, she said, “I want to go to school like them.”

Did my parents listen to her? Not immediately, no. They thought it was a phase and moved on with the homeschooling idea. They also deleted all those clips and replaced them with animated ones for good measure. However, every year, Camilla would ask when she could go to school like other kids her age and draw pictures depicting that.

My sister’s desire to go to a regular school became more persistent when she finished middle school. She argued, “I am almost 18 years old. I want to experience a normal life. I want to attend a prom, go to a football game, and have friends.” She would talk about it every day in the first couple of weeks of summer. The more my parents said no, the more her mood became dull, to the extent that she refused to leave her room. Worse, her drawings became darker and more vivid, and that scared my parents.

When Mom called to tell me what happened at home, she painted the picture as a rebellious phase. But I countered, “Is it possible that Camilla’s dealing with depression? After all, she’s been wanting to go to school for a while now, but you still haven’t allowed her to do that.”

“No, that can’t be true. Teenagers don’t get depressed – they only get rebellious.”

Uh-oh, I thought, Mom’s still not #woke. So, I talked to her extensively about validating – and hopefully fixing – teenage depression.

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What age group has the highest depression rate? 

Young adults (aged 18 and 25) have the highest depression rate.

How do I know if my teenager is mentally ill? 

You can tell that your teenager is mentally ill if:

  • They excessively worry about everything.
  • They refuse to socialize with anyone – even family members.
  • They get too sensitive and insecure whenever they hear constructive criticism.
  • They always feel sad and worthless.

Is it normal for teenagers to have mood swings? 

Yes, it is normal for teenagers to have mood swings, considering they are dealing with hormonal changes as their physical features develop.

What is the leading cause of depression among youths? 

Bullying is the primary cause of depression among youths, although it appears in various forms.

Does puberty make you feel depressed? 

Yes, puberty can make you feel depressed. The reason is that hormonal changes can intensify a person’s emotions, thus possibly turning sadness into depression.

What are the leading causes of teenage stress? 

  • Demanding academic schedule
  • Negative self-talk
  • Physical changes
  • Peer pressure
  • Family problems
  • Safety issues
  • Parental divorce
  • Chronic medical condition
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How does stress affect teenage life? 

Stress can make a teenager overeat to cope with their issues. Instead of resolving them, though, this habit may cause the development of diabetes, obesity, and other medical illnesses, which may stress them out further.

In other cases, stress is the primary trigger factor for a broad range of mental disorders. The more stressed a teenager feels, the more severe the mental symptoms may become.

What percentage of high school students are stressed? 

Approximately 50% of high school students complain about stress.

What can trigger stress? 

  • Extreme social or peer pressure
  • Biological or physiological changes
  • Moving to a new place
  • Lack of control over some issues
  • Overwhelming responsibilities

What are the five emotional signs of stress? 

  • Poor decision-making abilities
  • Losing track of thoughts and activities
  • Feeling irritable all the time
  • Overeating
  • Experiencing apathy

How do I know if I am stressed? 

  • Small changes make you anxious.
  • You feel frustrated quickly.
  • It would help if you were in control is stronger than ever.
  • You cannot set aside your worries.
  • You always feel worthless or pitiful.

What are the three causes of stress? 

  • Chronic diseases
  • Traumatic incidents
  • Relationship issues
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What are the four signs of stress? 

  • Feeling out of sorts
  • Unexplainable physical pains
  • Changing appetite
  • Sleep issues

How can I avoid stress in my life? 

  • Watch what you eat.
  • Stop abusing substances.
  • Decide on a workout program.
  • Take a break whenever you need it.
  • Practice mindfulness.
  • Sleep as much as possible.
  • Avoid taking failures too seriously.

How do I relieve stress and anxiety?

  • Learn breathing techniques.
  • Change your lifestyle.
  • Seek fun activities.
  • Downplay awful situations.

Final Thoughts

That conversation I initiated with Mom pushed her to have a heart-to-heart talk with Camilla. The first thing they did was go to a psychologist’s office to see if she really had depression and what they could do to treat it. I turned out to be spot-on, and my sister proceeded with therapy for the rest of the summer. Then, when the psychologist recommended a change of scenery for Camilla, my parents finally agreed to let her go to the local junior high, as long as they would drive her to and from school instead of taking the bus. It was not 100% freedom, but my sister took it as a win, and her mood continued to improve after that.

Beautiful Home, Beautiful Family

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The home is where we first learn about life; it is where we get exposed to a lot of our firsts as kids. Our first words, first steps, first tooth, first social interaction, we experience all of that at home with our families. It is such a fantastic feeling for parents to see their baby come home finally. This is also a lot of firsts for parents, which is all just an amazing memory when the day comes.

Continue reading Beautiful Home, Beautiful Family

Happy Colors For A Happy Home

 

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Wall colors and decorations in the home are mostly viewed in terms of appearance – what will look attractive. However, color psychologists suggest that choosing the right colors to beautify your home can greatly impact you and your family’s mental well-being.

Leslie Harrington, a color expert from Old Greenwich, says that color is generally a nonverbal language that most of us can speak. The colors we utilize to paint our walls and closets aren’t just because they look pretty, but we can use them to help maintain our emotions.

Other experts also believe that considering the function of each room before assigning a color to it is a great way to create a mentally healthy abode. Picking a primary color would be the next step. This has not been proven scientifically, although homeowners along with other psychologists agree that some shades are more effective than others at enabling calmness and positivity. Would you like to know if all this is true?

Perhaps you should try reading this rundown of the essential spaces in your home and their corresponding color match in terms of the mood they evoke.

 

The Rooms And Their Colors

Living Room And Porch. Yellow, red, oranges and earth colors such as beige and brown almost always work great in the living room and the porches or hallways. These tones are said to encourage conversation. The warmness calms the space and people are inspired to gather together and talk. The connection is there when they are embraced by these colors.

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Dining Room. Shades of red on your decorations are effective in creating a cozy dining area. Aside from stimulating conversations, red is also an appetite enhancer. Color consultants also believe that when someone’s dining room is red, guests will think that the owner is a great cook!

Kitchen. Experts agree that people who have fond recollections of their family in the kitchen when they were children would do well to create the same kitchen in their current homes. If you had a pretty kitchen with blue and white hues, then those are probably the best colors for your own kitchen, to rekindle the past happiness and perhaps pass it on to your family.

If you don’t have any particular scheme in mind, then yellow and red are some of the commonly chosen tones. If you’re health conscious and are aiming to lose weight, however, just stay away with the red and stick with yellow. Even the restaurants would agree with this idea!

Bedrooms. Naturally, colors that are cool and light to the eyes are best for the bedrooms. Lavender, green, and blue have a wonderfully calming effect. When you’re stressed and your mind is boggled, let your bedroom be your respite. Red is a no-no for this space, as it suggests heat and is said to increase one’s heart rate and blood pressure.

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Bathroom. We always want our bathroom to reflect cleanliness, which is why white has never gotten out of style. But recently, the emergence of spas has encouraged homeowners to create their bathrooms in such a way that they feel they’re in the spa or in the ocean, so the blue-greens and the yellow-greens are in, as they signify clean and fresh.

 

Those are some wonderful ideas that you can follow if you’re planning to build a home, or simply want to do a home makeover. There’s no harm in trying, and it’s never too late to change those past color schemes if you want to stay happy, calm and mentally healthy in your own abode.

 

 

Mental Health Benefits Of Redecorating Your Home

 

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Did you subscribe to interior design magazines, hoping to find inspiration for the home redecorating project that you’ve wanted to start for some time now?

Plenty of practical residential owners do that. Instead of hiring a designer and spending too much cash to get his or her professional advice, they take a crash course by looking at pictures of other houses. These people try to scrutinize everything – from the style to the size of the model house – to figure out if the décor on the images will fit their home in reality.

The thing is, only a few individuals manage to fulfill their redecoration dream. Others often hold back due to a couple of reasons: 1) they don’t have time, and 2) money is short within the household these days. They keep on pushing the task further on the schedule, to the extent that more New Years come, and their living space still looks the same as it did way back in the early 2000s.

In case you are more of a waiter than a doer, knowing the following mental health benefits may help you decide to redecorate your home ASAP.

 

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The Act Itself May Reduce Anxiety

The process of revamping your living space can take all of your attention and distract you from other activities. For people with anxiety disorder, that is a plus because you won’t notice stuff that may trigger its symptoms. You can keep yourself busy, and it’s difficult to feel as if you wasted your time since you can immediately see the fruits of your labor.

 

Nature-Friendly Fixtures Can Be Soothing

Stainless and metallic decorations and fixtures offer a modernistic touch to your home, that’s true. However, to calm your mind, you may want to exchange your flashy table for a wooden one. Instead of tiles, the hardwood may be better for flooring. The glass chandeliers can transform into rustic pieces as well. You don’t need to turn the space upside down, but it will be amazing to make some items nature-friendly.

 

The House Feels More Like A Home By Adding Personal Effects

You tend to experience emptiness once all you see at home are random store-bought portraits or vases. You have to add a photo frame or memorabilia from your childhood at critical points all over the place so that it does not feel like a showroom that a real estate company put together for their clients’ sake. If you got little kids, you might also decorate a wall with their drawings and achievements for a homier vibe.

 

Plants Can Help You Breathe Inside Better

It is easy for negative thoughts to enter the mind when purified air does not circulate in the house. You may get quickly irritated, for one, to the extent that you pick fights with your housemates. Depression, anxiety, and a panic attack can also affect you, and none of these disorders should be welcome in your system. Because of that, you better put leafy plants here and there to ensure that the air gets cleansed naturally at home.

 

You Can Throw Out Unwanted Décor

Finally, redecorating is the perfect excuse to get rid of ornaments or furniture that you associate with bad memories or are merely eyesores in your home. Separate the items you no longer want in two boxes: one for trash, and the other for charity. Take your time sorting through your stuff to make sure that you won’t throw away an essential object on accident and that all the unwanted decorations are leaving your house once and for all.

 

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To Sum Things Up

Home redecoration can be more successful when you plan which furniture goes where or what décor you should add or remove in one area. Nevertheless, you need not wait forever to do it. If money is the problem, you can repurpose some appliances or visit second-hand shops to get items at a lower price.

The next time you hesitate to start redecorating your house, think of your mental health. Specifically, consider what the activity can do to calm your thoughts and promote personal growth. If you need more tips, you can visit BetterHelp. Check out their Facebook and Instagram for more helpful posts as well.

Good luck!